My Writings

​An apartment 

 

The outside world is loud, never sleeps

The city is filled with theaters

Every night is a new journey

A plaza filled with people, high buildings

Hundreds of restaurants

People rushing to the next place they have to go to 

 

The walls covered with easels, white boards and cork boards

The floor covered with genius ideas

Awards decorate a shelf

The apartment is filled with beautiful models and designs for all fields

Bright beautiful colors fill the space

A flag, turquoise and green hangs near the window

Fairy lights litter the ceiling

 

Pictures of two men sit in every small empty space that hasn't been filled already

A duo, meant for love

They are living out their dreams

They exist as one 

Their souls bounded 

Both of them wished this would happen 

they wished for so long 

So long ago

Their hard work paid off

 

Cars driving below

Honks can be quietly heard

In a spare bedroom is a desk, a laptop open, a drafting

A scenic design rests, it has been created, it has been used for an awarded show

The furniture is a matching set, but refurbished 

On the table is a half eaten meal

A note rests on the side 

“Will be back soon, running to the theater”

 

Every night is a huge flash of colors

People rushing in and out of the theater

A new show is being performed

The bright lights light the set

Actors dance and sing

The scenic elements move using tracks in the floor

The sound scape is genius

Costumes are eye appealing

On the call board, a note

“Congrats on a great opening night”

 

This dream has filled the artisans dreams

For days, weeks, months, years, decades

Ever since they were young

This was something they thought they could never get to 

It was to big for them

But in the end they got there

They went above and beyond 

​Why would someone leave the town like this

The cities were dark

Lights unable to turn on 

The rooftops were full of life, not of people but moss, and ivy scaling down the buildings

The roads were cracked, almost like something crawled out of it

Blood down the walls seeping through the cracks

Handprints leaving messages on the walls

Wheat grew through cracks

Windows shattered with hummingbirds flying through back and fourth 

Hummingbirds searching for food

Apartment windows are above these stores, fans and air conditioners hang in the windows

The last day was a hot day

Winter decorations decorate the stores

Fans were being sold but sold out

what happened here

The last thing I remember

Being in a vault and walking out

We have been gone for so long

Innovation in technology 

so then we could walk into this world

300 degrees out today, the coldest it has been for the past thirty years

How did these people live

you could smell the rotting food in the windows 

These people didn't die off because of natural selection

It wasn't the heat 

It was suicide

The human race pushed earth until it couldn't stand anymore

It was unclear of when it gave out

But it started failing at a moments notice 

Senses wake up, from a long, deep slumber

Everything is silence, a pin can be heard

echoes through the streets are muted

Carriage pulled by the house a second behind 

The blanket touches my face

The warmth from the fire heats my face 

The fire twinkles and dances

I look over and see my lover

My lover and I can not be together

His skin against mine

Our legs interlaced

Britches on the floor 

Hearts racing, his eyes aclosed

Fingers weaved through fingers

If only we didn't have to be in secret

 

The faces in sight, when man touches man

The feeling of my throat falling to my stomach

Even though these men wear clothes subject of femininity

A man can't be with a man

That is law, a way of living, a mindset

 

He groans awake 

His hand closes and grips mine

His eyes slowly open and he smiles

He is my love, my life

If only we could be, in an alternate life

How could I, a man from the north

Be with him, a man from the south

Such different views, so different in how we were raised

We could be outcasted, put in jail, or killed

All for someone I love 

I would do anything for him

He leans forward, our lips touch and stay for a while

He loves me

But do I truly love him or the idea of him, I ponder 

He gets up, dresses and heads toward the door

“See you later, Friend”

That word rings and doesn't stop

It rings in my ear for the rest of my life

Men can only be Friends

(the scene starts with a winding road and a blue car driving through, the blue in a light baby blue)

CHARACTER 1 : Sometimes the most we can see is way less than others. 

And sometimes what we see isnt as dark as others

Sobbing is just the start, it's the first stage of being filled with dread and hiding who you really are. 

(the scene turns to a mirror and a grown man brushing his teeth and going about his life)

I've hidden myself for 30 years. My first time being in love was in my 20s because when I should have had those teenage experiences, I was hiding. My first real kiss was at age 20, I thought that we would be together forever. Turns out that I was just another hook-up to him.

(in a college dorm two men are in bed together having relations)

 His fingers dazzled my skin as our breaths slowed, and our skin turned warmer, with the speed of heart rate. Heart rate is just the distance of death we are, we could be close and not even know it. Staying in the closet is one of the hardest things I have done all of my life.

(the extra man leaves the bed and gets dressed and leaves, we see mc still in bed, senses coming back slowly and breathing returning to normal)

 And before I could come out, I already established…

(the man is now at his day job)

myself and was too worried of falling apart. 

 

Life is like a piece of metal, you can scratch at it and hit it, but the most you can do is: leave a dent. 

(the film starts flashing)

(title screen)

(a cabin in the woods)

(a college campus)

(other locations)

 

(we see darkness and then a pair of greenish/blue eyes)

(the eyes blink, we start to zoom out, we see its a high school boy in the middle of class)

(hes breathing heavily, on verge of a panic attack, we follow his eye line and he's watching the clock)

(time reads 2:10, end of day)

(we see him look down, a finished test, everyone else is still working)

(he returns to the sketches on the sides of the paper)

Nothing seems like it's enough, but you still have to finish first, even when you know that your answers are wrong

( bell rings, students mutter curse words)

(Students line up in the classroom and start to hand in the papers, mc is last line)

They never tell you this but when your last in line, that means your paper will be graded first, but then handed back last

(The students are now leaving school, we see the commotion of the students. We see mc put in earbuds and start listening to music, it drowns out the noise. A small spread across his face. Mc gets shoved and falls down on to pavement)

Move it freak (laughs)

(Mc looks around with a bleeding face, he sees everyone laughing, music has faded to ringing)

 

(The ringing starts to fade and we start hearing clicking, a therapy office)

What. 

You don't want me.

You just have used me for years, just to tell me that you don't want me.

 

You are the one who always messages me, what for? You want me to be on you, right? and making out with you? Isn't that right?

 

You only want the idea of me, whenever you need pleasure. For yourself that is. Never when I need it. 

 

You want ur grubby ass hands all over me, and I just shut down, I don't remember what senses are and I just want to scream stop please, stop touching, stop using me, I am not an object. I am a person.

 

I have struggled for years because of what you did to me. I told you no, back, to back, to back. But you knew I would cave in, and make it so then I felt that you were the victim. 

 

I will never forget nor forgive you for what you did. You molested me, you draped me. All for your own desire, and then you decided to move on. To who you really wanted. 

 

I was just a stepping stone for you, and a tool for when you got bored. 

 

But frankly, I'm bored of you. You no longer control me. I control myself so, next time I tell you no. You better listen, or else. 

 

I loved you and you used me. But fuck you, and I hope you rot. For all of your "eternity". 

You stab me in the gut

You twist the knife to the side

You look upon my face

And tell me it was a lie

Now I'm reflecting on my self

Wondering where did I go wrong

So now all I do is cry

All because I don't belong

So I sit in the corner

Of where we used to laugh

You tell me I'm being foolish

And all I think is that

I don't belong here,

I need to get away

You tell me that you're good

But you make me want to say

I'm done being foolish

All you know is how to lie

I'm sitting in the corner 

Trying not to cry

You tel me that I'm fine

But you don't see it from my side

​

our roads cross and you look away.